mixture

owh man..
just only promised myself to be happy..
but now..
damn!
cool cool~
trying to be cool now~

i don't know how to say..
and who to say..
supposingly..
planning to tell king about it..
because..
i remembered that..i told him at first..
we shared that together..
but i found out that..
it's hard to say now..
i don't know what happen to me..
i just couldn't open my mouth to tell him like before..
shit man..come back larh tan sher nee.. this is not you..

i had mixture of feeling today..
anger..
sad..
n disappointed..
i found out this feeling..
after i came home..
i've been thinking all day long..
what's my problem now..
and i just couldn't get a clear picture yet..

and yet..
i do actually care about what they said..
i don't know i have this kind of feeling..
maybe..something was happening in me..
that made me got hurt..
and so..
suddenly i just felt like..can u guys stop it..
i couldn't take that joke anymore..
it makes me wanna stay far away from him now..
this is horrible man..
i knew i shouldn't have been thinking n care about it so much..
he's trying to take care of me as a good friend..
i understand it..
and thats why i'm so angry at myself..
how could i think it that way..
i'm trying to change now..
trying..
i just need some time..

i found out something from last two days..
i didn't tell anyone..
about the true story of it..
today my bro saw my fist..
he was asking in front of my mom..
i'm so afraid that she would asked..
luckily..
she didn't say anythg..
i'm so confused now..