i don't know

i remembered that i promised him..
to buy him a pair of fishes for him..
but i don't know he still remember or not..
i was actually thought of wanted to buy it..
and make it as a surprise for him..
but..
something had stop me..
ya it's sad..
so..
just forget about it..

i remembered our promises..
both of us..
there's a lot of..hmm..kinda silly promises..
it's so funny..=)
i don't know how did we made such promises..

exhale~fuu~
it's kinda happy that time..
had a lot of fun..
friends should be like that isn't it?
i don't know what does he think about me now..
but..
i'm sure..
he has to be my best friend before..
from the past..till now..
and hopefully the future..
words can lie..
but a person gestures..
can never lie..
i learnt a lot..
on looking at people's facial expression..body language..
it tolds every single sub-text (learnt from david loh =D)
it is..
something which can tell..
but someone who don't want to admit..

i used to say..fine~ i don't care anymore..
actually i was lying to myself..
i don't want to be that way..
because i don't wish u guys to disappeared in my life..
i appreciate each and everyone of u..
u might think that..
kl people like me might tell a lot of lies..
cannot be trusted..
words can be twisted..
smart in tricking people..
fake..
but i can say..
every place has bad people and good people..
i lived in hard time..
which those u can't imagine at all..
so..
i'm different from the real kl people..
because i don't have the chance to be like them..
my life was always filled with fears..
will they come and hit us?
will they chase us out of the house?
when can we stop eating maggie?
when can we stop shifting the books out to the corridor and read under the road lights?
how to treat my mom's sickness?

i have to think of all this things..
whenever i was awake from sleep..
i have to think many many times in doing things..
hmm..

anyway..
i'm happy of who am i..
made u misunderstood me..
and let u in such inconvenienced..
i am so sorry..
because maybe i did something wrong..
but i don't realise i eventually hurt u guys..
really SORRY..

believe or not..
up to u..
but..
this is really who i am.. =)