far away

today i went back alone..
walked alone along the way..
suddenly..
i found out that..
the pathway to the gate..
is very far away..
it seems like the distance is few kilometres away..
i keep on walking and walking..
it just getting further and further..
it felt like i need hours to reach the gate..

i've been trying to count the steps..
from where i stood..
to the gate..
but..
by the time i was started to say 1~
i just laughed..
and walked off..
i couldn't even dare to count..
i'm afraid..
it could be longer n farer than i've ever thought..
in which i need to walk on..

i had a sweet dream this morning..
which i really hope for it to happen..
but i knew it wouldn't..
because i had the answer already..
i knew what's reality..
what's a real dream..
at first..
i wished to have that kind of dream again..
but i realized..
i can't..
it will just drag me into those dreams..
and i wished not to wake up and face the reality which is totally different from that dream..
if i keep dreaming about those..
i wouldn't have any bravery to face the fact..
i couldn't take it..
i'll collapsed..

even until now..
i still can feel it..
the moment..
of being hold by.......
even just a second..
i still can feel it..
i'm struggling..
to forget about it..
i just can't..
that moment..
it will just stick in my mind..forever...