gosh...

i'm writing this just in front of ppl..in the cc..although someone is here too.. but i could feel that ...my existance is almost invisible to that person..i duno what to say..but chose to keep quiet..mayb i should just keep avoiding him n just appear rarely in front of that person it would b better?? i have no ans for that..i'm afraid my sadness change to hatred... because.. i don't know where have i did wrongly.. but i do really feel that..there's changes between me n that person..i'm just totally speechless...i am seriously run out of my mind to do anythg for it.. n today..it's hard for me to say.. i'm totally down..but...i know i have to stand up firmly and tell them..i'm fine..but i actually couldn't..i don't know what is in that person's mind..why n howcome our relationship had become this way..couldn't us just be like v used to b?? do my request that hard to achieve??? why...........................

almost cry out while listening to music..i realy don't know what else to do..v totally realy far apart from now..although the physical distance is oni few centimeter away.... but the feel of it is far far far away from here..there's nothing i can do..but just letting it getting further apart..i don't know why.. i just don't want to force anyone to be what i wanted to be.. i don't force ppl for that.....this kind of things is out of my control..n
from the start i should know this is not an easy way..but... want to do it is another thing..n i couldn't make it..

maybe i wouldn't withdraw my feeling..maybe i'll just continue..i always told ppl to change another perspective to look at that particular thing..but no matter how u look at it..until the end..it will return to it's own point..the starting point of where u started to change...n i know i'll do that as well..
maybe some ppl could just start a new way n forget about the past..but i'm not that kind would do that..
my friend ask me to change...but u know some ppl took years to totally eliminate the old to replace the new one..how about now then ......i don't want to think about the future which is far away from now... how?.......